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One of the main issues I contend with, when dealing with my students is their idea of not being attractive enough to attract women. This insecurity comes in various shapes and sizes. For instance: Some men think they are too old. They could be too fat. Some think they are too short. Some men think they are too ugly. Because of this, these men feel they are helpless when it comes to getting the kind of woman they desire. However, it is not true. We should take just a moment to drive out these few myths of attraction, since they do hold many men back from having a successful love life. Myth #1 - Women are only attracted to good looking men. Take a good look around and take not of the different types of men who date attractive women, and you can see this is not true. Of course it is essential to look good, however, it you do not have to be good looking. How is there a difference? The difference is, you may not escape your looks, but you do control your presentation of what looks you do have by the way you groom and wear your hair as well as how you smell and the clothes you wear, and so forth. Presentations of these types of features play a role in looking good. Any man can be attractive when he controls his appearance. Myth #2 - Women and Men Think Alike Naturally, you and I think that everyone else sees the same things the same way in which we see others. Take for instance that huge pimple on your forehead, you think everyone notices it, although it is beneath the skin and no one knows it is there besides you. To you, it was clear as day. To everyone else, it was hardly noticeable. Naturally, we practice this attitude while summing others up. Do you judge a woman by the way she looks? Of course you do, since you are able to determine by visually appraising her whether you think she is attractive. So naturally, you assume women are going to size you up the same exact way. This is incorrect. Women have different criteria for determining attraction than men do. That is not to say they do not care if a man is attractive or not. But they do not place as much importance on physical characteristics as us guys do. A womans attraction bases itself around how a man makes them feel, rather than how a man might look. This is why social status and confidence attract women. Men who make them laugh, they find attractive. Being good at what you do attracts women. Try to understand how this works. For women, looks have very little to do with all of this. Myth #3 - Women Notice Men and their Insecurities Understand that we know ourselves better than anyone else ever will. We are able to pick out every single flaw there is about ourselves - our big ears, big nose, weak chin, receding hairline... We notice these small flaws, no matter what they may be. Since we see our flaws, we naturally presume that others do too, when in fact the majority of people do not pay attention. Unless that is, they look especially for some characteristic to hold against you. Most fret over their own insecurities whatever they may be, without noticing yours. Do you know that most women are not aware of your insecurities and only notice them when you call their attention to them? So forget about your insecurities rather than trying to diffuse or dismiss them by calling the attention of others as to why you may think you are ugly. Besides, insecurity is very unattractive. Think about it. It is important, in every situation, that you always focus on the good stuff about you, instead of your shortcomings, and have the positives outshine the negatives. Myth #4 - Attractive Men Have It Easy This is probably the biggest myth there is - that if a guy is good looking, girls will automatically flock to him. Physical attractiveness may initially assist, however ultimately, good looking men suffer from the same types of problems as other men, while managing their own types of struggles with women they find attractive. Attraction is the magnification of the emotional connection a woman feels while in your presence, you can build this connection in such a manner that the woman only feels this way when she is with you. Consequently, she will want to have you around her. If a woman meets a man who matches her physical type, she is attracted to him, since her preference of features brings her enjoyment. Nevertheless, if the man is incompatible, boring or a jerk, her feelings will vanish. However, if you take a guy that the woman maybe is not initially physically attracted to, and then have him make her experience feelings of fun, excitement, and pleasure - she WILL become attracted to him eventually. This is the fundamental concept of attraction - when you make other people feel good, they will want to be around you. You do not have to be a good guy to make women feel good! You just need to know how to interact with them. This equation has a second factor and that is of sexual attraction. This is the ability to turn a woman on, as well as making her feel good while you are around them. This is when seduction comes into play. As you lead a woman towards sexual attraction, she begins seeing you in a new perspective, despite your shortcomings or looks.
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